Thread:Poisoned Canine/@comment-32043089-20161106020256/@comment-32043089-20161118123957

Sean. I really don't know what to say.

As of tomorrow, You've left me for 5 entire weeks. 5? Why? Are you okay? Did something happen?

Smh. Even after all of this, I still love you, so much. You may not love me, you may hate me. But I'll never forget the times that you've saved me and, well, at least acted like you loved me.

All I would ask for is an explanation as to why you left. And why you replied to my mesningful post with "ias"? I'm sure I sound like an idiot by saying that, but I guess I've already embarrassed myself.

Regardless of what you think of me, whether or not all of those words were fake, the countless times of you saying "I love you baby <3". I don't know if those words were genuine. But, either way, Sean, I want that back. I want that endless pit of butterflies in my stomach. I want you back, the way you made me smile was completely out of thid world.

Sean, if you didn't want to be with me anymore, you should've said something. I would've been upset, but I would've understood. Leaving me for 5 weeks without a word, 0 explanation, or anything hurt me beyond belief. I have spent countless nights wondering about you, overthinking what happened to you. Day 3 of you being gone and me talking about you in the chat, saying how much I missed you. This was said about me: http://animal-jams-neutral-groups.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:24106

It didn't feel too good. It actually hurt, a LOT. I wanted to come to you and talk to you about it, but, you were gone.

The past 5 weeks has been absolute living hell. Nevermind without you. You make everything that I go through so much easier. No matter what it is. I've been taken, and almost been taken to the hospital for various reasons (I'm sure you can take a wild guess). I've had extreme panic attacks where I couldn't breathe. I've had countless dreams where you've come up, done whatever, and then I wake up and miss you 12x more than I did the day before. I can't explain it.

But what I think that hurts the most, is that you were reading all of these messages, knowing that I'm truly not okay without you! The fact that you didn't care about me and my feelings, really makes me wonder if you actually cared at all, or if it was all a joke? Not to mention, you unbuddied me and you were on AJ yesterday. It hurts, Sean. It shattered my heart more than anyone or anything has before.

This is without sarcasm, but I truly hope you're happy. Maybe you're doing something with football, maybe you found and IRL girlfriend? If so, I hope she makes you happier than I thought I did. I am genuinely sorry I wasn't good enough for you, or that I didn't meet your expectations. I know I have a shit load of stuff to improve on as a person, and trust me, I am working on it. For you, because clearly I didn't make you happy enough, being the person that I am.

Respond to this, don't, whatever. I love you, Sean. Even though you don't love me.